The last day of 2010.

Perhaps the most difficult year of my life so far, the past three-hundred and sixty five days have been a true challenge. Moreover, it has also been a chance to grow up, to learn from failures -which have been recurrent this year- and to test my resilience.

I look back at the last twelve months. At the preparation to return to Ireland, at the mind-numbing good bye said at the airport, at the uncertainty of a welcome, at the long walks through Smithfield carrying piles of CVs that were never handed, at the sitting down and crying in a bench, sleet falling.

The year took a turn for the best at the beginning of the summer and friends were made. Friends that perhaps saved me from sinking in my misery even deeper, friends that kept my spirits high, friends that comforted me when my soul -and arms- were broken.

I ‘Couchsurfed’ and broke some personal barriers, I visited the most beautiful place in Ireland and relished in its cold beaches, I saw the Titanic’s last port of call and I kissed the Blarney Stone.

By autumn, the country turned orange and the falling leaves left naked trees of musty wood. A time to rethink and make decisions. A decision to stay and fight. Fight for my right to stay in this country and fight the crude winter to come.

     ‘I met the best people ever, I fell in love with things again, I rediscovered friends and most importantly, I learned that sometimes steps back are needed to go for a big leap forward.
I haven’t had that big leap yet, but I can finally see it coming and tonight things are changing as 2011 is starting with a different position and with all the lessons learned in 2010 well stuck in my head.

I do feel like I have changed as a person and my approach for next year and all the years after that will definitely change as well. I am a new man, with new elbows, new haircut, new laptop, new fixed-gear bike, new important people in my life and a new head.’

The snow outside is thawing and one of the coldest winters in the history of the Emerald Isle seems to have declared a temporal truce. The minus thirteen degrees Celsius temperatures of early December turning slightly milder for my birthday and Christmas.
Perhaps the saddest Christmas celebration in my life, a strong flu sucked the energies out of my body and threw me into bed, the asbestos in the old bedroom affixing right into my lungs.

I have secured a temporary job placement. Taking advantage of my previous experience in sales and customer service, I am now selling Fujifilm cameras to eager holiday shoppers. At least until January.

So here’s to a crappy 2010 and a better 2011.